It grows
by iwishthaticouldcarryher
Summary: How Korra recognize that feeling that's been there for a long time now. Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: Legend of Korra
1. Uncertainty

Korra glanced around the room. It's funny really, to think that there are lots and lots of people around you, yet, none of them is what you need. She wouldn't have come if not only for Tenzin who's so insistent saying that Korra's presence was necessary. Well, she's here now, and her presence was barely needed. _Tenzin._ Korra snorted.

Korra was never good at socializing, and in a celebration like this, she really could use someone who's not a stranger. She searched for familiar faces, but hope to see that certain one person she felt most comfortable being with— Asami.

Asami. Korra smiled at the thought. She is grateful having Asami who stayed by her side especially in her dark days that deeply scarred her soul. She surely is glad having that someone who understands her even if she didn't say anything; just that one look and then there they are, connected. Asami, who always have been, and always will be there; Asami, who always managed to say the right words and share silence when words were barely needed; Asami, who seemed to have this certain kind of comfort that Korra seemed to be in fond of. Asami, just where would Korra be if it isn't because of her?

 _Asami.._

 _Where are you, Asami?_

 _Ugh, I should never came,_ Korra thought.

Korra walked out of the room and searched for a place where she can get a fresh breeze. _The veranda, maybe?_

Korra gazed up high. A vast darkness covered with thick air of calmness and filled with small but bright everlasting lights of the stars. The sight placed a sudden comfort in the Avatar's brewing stress. _I guess this world isn't so bad, yeah?_ Gentle breeze touched Korra's shoulders; normally, people will chill down to their spine with the sudden temperature change, but not Korra-no, never Korra. Korra lived and grew up in layers and layers of ice and this night's coldness barely bothered her.

Korra stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Just when she's about to get bored and decided to go home, a familiar voice called her name.

"Spirits Korra, it's cold out here."

 _Asami._

Korra smiled.

Korra turned around to face her best friend.

Thus, to what she saw, is never what she expected.

Her heart stopped.

Gentle air blew Asami's hair making it seemed like she was in some kind of movie scene. Her dress hugged her curves perfectly making her gorgeous like she had always been. Her face, a gentle yet fierce look, seemed like giving off a faint but strong glow. Her walk, an ever flawless gesture Korra noticed (but quite never paid attention to) since the first day they met, seemed like a little bit more perfect tonight. It was sort of surreal; it was a dream like sight. _This isn't real right? This is like, a sort of real dream, right? What do they call it, lucid dreaming was it? Yeah. This must be one of those._ Korra reasoned herself not believing the sight in front of her.

Was it the night? The gentle touch of sureness it brings that made this seem far beyond perfect? Or, was it the light inside the room that touched Asami's features so slightly that made Korra see her a bit different? Was it the tiredness Korra's starting to feel earlier at the party? Or it was just the boredom Korra's been wrapped up to recently?

To what reason it all happened, that, Korra never knew.

It just feels like everything Korra did, her every downs and ups, every single deeds she's done; it all feels like everything was for this night, for that view, for her and that girl standing in front of her. It felt like it all clicked, the every loose thread Korra never been able to weave.

 _I must be hallucinating._

 _*heartbeat*_

 _I can't be._

 _*heartbeat*_

 _No._

 _*heartbeat*_

 _This isn't normal._

 _Could it be?_

"Geez, Korra, are you okay? You're looking at me like I'm sort of a goddess or something." Asami said cutting off Korra's thought as she walked slowly towards Korra.

"You are." Korra said in a nearly audible voice.

"Sorry?"

"N-no. Nothing. I said nothing. Hehe…" Korra said nervously as she rubbed the back of her neck.

They both turned their backs at the light of the party and faced the beauty of the night. Korra's heartbeat steadied but still beats with a loud thump. A gentle warmth touched her cheeks.

"I was looking for you." Asami said breaking the silence.

"You were?" Korra replied, with a little surprised tone in her voice.

"Yeah."

They both trailed off into their own thoughts, hugging the comfort of silence and being together with someone brings. They stayed like that for a while- contented, settled and happy.

"It's strange." Asami said with a low voice. For a moment, Asami waited for Korra to say anything but when she realized Korra's waiting for her to continue, she breathe in. "I got the feeling you said my name. Earlier. At the party."

"It's because I did." Korra whispered. Asami looked at her with furrowed brows; obviously, she didn't hear what Korra whispered.

Korra looked at Asami and smiled gently. Asami noticed the gentle warmth that Korra seemed to be giving off. _What's with her today?_ Asami thought. _She's… warm._

"I said, I'm glad you're here." Korra said, not being able to repeat what she whispered earlier. _It would creep her out, you dumb._ Korra said to herself.

"Korra, I will always be with you."

* * *

What happened after that was a blur. They went back to the party, said their farewells to Tenzin and everyone else. Why are they going home? Both of them don't know. It was as if they're both driving in an autopilot. Neither complained, though. Neither spoke. They just subconsciously synchronized.

Subconsciously went to the car.

Subconsciously went driving.

Subconsciously enjoying each other's presence in a different kind of way.

Subconsciously moved, under the perfect night, perfect time, perfect place, and perfect people.

To where they're going, both of them don't know.

As always, the trance of bliss came to an end.

Before they knew it, they're in front of Asami's apartment.

That's when reality kicked in.

"So I guess, this is goodnight?" Korra said.

Asami opened the door of her apartment and then faced Korra. Korra smiled and then they stared at each other for a while.

The situation made Korra felt awkward. It's unusual, because Korra never felt awkward towards Asami, she never felt shy and uncomfortable; but not today— not when she's a little bit more perfect in the sight of those deep blue shining eyes.

"Err… Goodnight Asami." Korra managed.

For a while, Asami wasn't able to say anything. For the first time, she doesn't know what to do or say.

Korra took it as a cue and turned around to leave.

That's when Asami held her hand.

Korra was suddenly flashed with realizations, struck with a memory of past Avatar's same situations. She saw it, everything, all at once. She was flashed with moments she knew, but never really noticed before.

Asami with the bright smiles. Asami with the rich, clear haunting green eyes. Asami with that adorable curly hair. Asami with her long, soft eyelashes. Asami with her perfect gentle face. Asami with her sexy curves. Asami with her cool and flawless gestures. Asami with her broad knowledge. Asami with her amazing fighting skills. Asami. Asami. Asami. Asami with the holding hands. Asami staying for the night. Asami staying by her side. Asami with her in the car in a clear crisp day. Asami with those comforting eyes. Asami with that comforting scent. Asami. Asami. Asami. Adorable Asami. Overall beautiful Asami.

Korra's deep blue eyes shone a little bit brighter, like when she's in the Avatar state, just a little fainter. There it goes, the recognition.

"You can stay the night." Asami said.

Korra, overwhelmed with sudden kick of emotions withdrew her hand and air bended herself out of the area as quickly as possible. She can't handle it.

When Korra gained her thoughts, she stopped and tried to regain her breath. _Idiot._ She muttered to herself. _What is she gonna think of you now? How are you gonna explain everything?_

 _Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. . Idiot. Idiot._

Tears streamed down her rich bronze face for all the word she should have, but couldn't say.

* * *

"Leaving me alone again, huh?" Asami said to herself as she went inside her apartment and locked the door. She threw the keys On the center table and headed to the bathroom. She filled the bathtub with water as she removed her heels and stepped out of her dress. She stepped in the tub, warmth filled her tired body.

"That's so you, Korra." she whispered.

She placed a damp towel in her face. She closed her eyes, trying to keep in what's struggling to get out of her system.


	2. I can see it now

**I strongly suggest that you play " The Legend of Korra"- Book 4 final scene soundtrack (look for looped version)** **while reading. Really, it will be worth it. Thank you.**

 **And I think I can see why people demands for review and such. They want to know that their works are actually something; that somehow, somewhere, it is worth something. It wouldn't hurt giving them a little token, yeah? I mean, they actually did something for you by writing that piece, and the least you could do is to thank them or say something about their work, yeah? So, yeah. You could at least give them that so they would know. And it'll keep them inspired. Remember, inspiration gives birth to one hell of a good work!**

* * *

"You are running away."

A voice said behind Korra. With her still blurry-from-tear vision, Korra, peeked at her back to see whoever it was behind her. She saw some mixture of yellow and dark red outfit, not enough to make out all the details, but enough to recognize who it is. She looked down at what looks like a group of some sort of insect, struggling to carry a chunk of food.

Korra's been wandering around for about a week now. _They must've been worried and decided to look for me_ , she thought.

 _Tenzin._ Korra whispered to herself.

 _Not today._

"Go away, I'm not in the mood for lecture." Korra blurted out. She isn't really in the mood for a lecture today. Korra's not in the mood for anything lately. She just felt tired and drained, as if the world suddenly decided to suck the life out of her. It was like being the opposite of the Avatar— filled with every humongous power life has to offer, only in reverse.

"But you need me." the air bender behind her said calmly.

Korra looked back at what she's looking at before the man behind her started to disturbed her gaze— a large statue that represents the Avatar before her. Aang did a lot of great things and all, but she wondered, what was it like when he fell in love?

 _It must be perfect because Katara felt the same._ She answered her own question. Another question crossed Korra's thoughts. _What was it like when my past lives fell in love?_

"Why are you running away?" the voice behind her questioned, disturbing her silent thoughts.

Irritated, Korra faced him.

"Tenzin I sw—" Korra was interrupted by her own disbelief.

It wasn't Tenzin.

"A-Aang… what are you doing here…?" Korra questioned.

"You need me." the past Avatar answered.

Korra looked down. "I'm sorry. I've been irresponsible for these past few days… I just… I-I need a break. I need an air out…" she explained. She sighed, feeling the consequences her impulsive action brought her.

"I am not here to punish you Korra." Aang said.

"But… I thought… you were… but… then, why are you here?"

"There's something bothering you lately."

"But... How did… Ugh."

"There's something I want to show you."

Aang held Korra's shoulder and pull her slightly to him. The airbender's other hand placed its thumb onto Korra's forehead. Their eyes both gave off a white light that's so bright, it became blinding. Flashes of images played in Korra's head.

* * *

 _Wait, where am I?_ I glanced around me and noticed a familiar place. _I'm sure_ _I know this place. Somewhat, somehow…_ I heard noises behind me and as I turned around, I saw Vaatu and Raava, fighting for dominance for hundreds and thousands of years. My head hurts for the sight that gave me a broad, yet distinct moments I seemed to know.

It was like remembering things from a half remembered dream.

 _ **Energy is unable to end**_ _._ Aang's voice echoed through the images.

I felt the scene shifted. That time, it was Raava fusing with the first Avatar— Wan.

 _Yes, I know this somehow._

 _ **It can only change forms.**_

I turned to my left and saw flashes of Wan fighting hundreds of war with Raava, glowing inside him, giving a light of hope, comfort and faith.

 _Raava. Yes,_ _I remember this. I remember this feeling. I know this feeling._

 _ **There's a reason why the center of our universe is a big mass of energy and why we are surrounded by energy.**_

The sight changed. It was Wan, after a lifelong battles, finally passing away.

 _ **We are all bounded to the earth, as the earth is to the universe, as the universe is to us, and as everything is connected with the energy.**_

White lights flashed, momentarily blinding me. It was a while before I can get a better look of the scene— a father holding his newborn baby while leaning slightly forward for the mother to have a good look of the child.

It was the birth of the next Avatar.

 _ **Like the energy, the world changes.**_

A sudden rumble shook the surface beneath me. I struggled to look for something to hold onto, but it was too late. Before I knew it, I was falling. Falling and falling, until something caught me. It was a bison. There were two people in front of me that didn't seem to notice me. _Hello?_ I said, but none of them showed any sign that they heard me. They were both boys, about my age. I tried to tap the shoulder of one of them, but the sudden movement of the other guy on the right stopped me. He…

He held his hand.

I was shocked, and for some reasons, the sight reminded of Asami.

 _ **It grows.**_

The creature around me suddenly changed form. I watched as it grew scales, long body, and claws. It turned into a dragon; and there, in front of me, was Avatar Roku. He was with his wife, talking and laughing, and overall looking bliss. The sight gave me a warm feeling in my chest. _Somehow… I'm sure… I felt this. I knew this feeling._

The people in front of me became a water like figure. It was as if someone threw a rock in a calm body of water. The ripple faded and Roku was now transformed into his younger version and the girl behind her transformed into… into younger Sozin.

The sight made me uneasy for a while, but then I seemed to recall that familiar moment. _I know this._ I looked at them, remembering exactly what happened that day. I remember talking and laughing, and feeling warmth, overall feeling bliss.

 _ **It evolves.**_

The scene changed and suddenly, I was in a room full of quiet people. I searched for the cause of all the solemn ambiance around me and saw it— Avatar Kyoshi, looking down to the girl lying in front of her.

 _Han._ I whispered, not knowing how or why I knew all of this.

I felt the pang of pain consuming my body. _I remember this._ I closed my eyes, not being able to experience it over again.

 _ **It transforms.**_

As I opened my eyes, I was now in a dark place. I was not able to see anything no matter how I tried to blink. I sensed something at my back and I quickly turned around to see what it is. It was Aang and Katara, under the faint glowing stones above them. They were kissing as the faint light traveled through the cave like place, forming a pattern like glow.

 _ **Love changes.**_

The scene changed and… and… it showed Asami. Asami in that night. The same dress, same smile, same gesture, same face.

Same Asami, only a little bit more perfect.

 _I understand it now._

 _ **It grows.**_

I saw flashes of memories that's now my own. It was all of the times I spent with Asami. When she first held my hand, first hugged me, times she combed my hair, when she was sitting in front of me in a family dinner, all those times she gave me her comforting smiles, when we were hanging out with Mako and Bolin. It was flashes that made me see how it all started— the thing that I never saw coming.

 _ **And it is inevitable.**_

I was back at the old time. I saw flashes of moments Wan and Raava spent together— all the training, the staying with each other's side, the helping one another, bonded, not by responsibility, but by the willingness the wonders of the world brought upon both.

 _ **It is a cycle.**_

The scene shifted and then I saw Avatar Wan, lying next to what seemed like broken chariot. He was smiling as we saw Raava leave his body.

 _ **It's all the same, but also different.**_

 _We will be together in all of our lifetimes._ Raava's voice echoed as the blinding light flashed through my eyes.

 _ **You are not running from her. You are running from yourself. From what you feel.**_

The next thing I saw was a younger Asami, crying in his daddy's arms, not being able to overcome the feeling of seeing the lifeless girl she and her dad dearly loved.

 _ **Love never was, is, and will be wrong.**_

Asami transformed into her mature self, the same old pain not leaving her rich haunting green eyes.

 _ **It is what you decided to do with it that can be foul.**_

Asami. My dear Asami, throwing all those letters from her father.

Asami. Filled with hurt and bitterness that no one ever saw.

How did I never saw Asami's pain? Never see through her smiling face? I was so busy drowning myself in my own grief that I failed to notice that that girl, the one who has been busy helping me to cure my own struggles, had her own set of sea of darkness to cross. She held my hand unselfishly for as long as it took, and I, on the other hand, never held hers.

 _ **Love is nothing about gender.**_

I saw it.

All of it.

All of my past life's lovers, everything, all at once.

And there is it, the recognition, burning strong in my eyes.

 _I finally see it._

 _ **It is about soul, and that connection they undeniably have.**_

And then the vision came back to Asami. She's in her room and seemed like crying.

Asami, drowning in all the weight the world has for her; and she's facing it.

 _Facing it all alone._

The light from her window burned so bright that I had to close my eyes. When I opened it, I blink for a couple of times to adjust my sight. It was now nighttime.

How did I manage to get in here? That, I genuinely don't know.

What I know is that, this is it, this is real, and that, the woman standing in front of me, is her.

 _Enough Asami. You don't have to fight it all alone._

* * *

Korra gained back her senses and stared right at the girl in front of her. She was about few feet away, still a bit distant, but enough for the water bender to be able to smell her scent, feel her presence, make up her details, and hear her breath.

Korra smiled.

 _In a million of lifetimes._

Asami sensed a sudden presence in the room. Her posture sharpened. She wiped her tears.

 _I have, and will always, always, find you._

Asami turned around, and when she did, her gloomy mood for the past few days suddenly washed away in that instance.

"Spirits! Oh Korra,"

 _Asami.  
_

"you scared the heavens out of me!"

 _My Asami._

"Wait, how did you get here?!"

 _My ever beautiful Asami._

"Forget that. Where have you been?!"

 _I can't believe I ever denied you._

"I've been asking where you are and nobody knows where you are!"

 _I'm sorry for running away._

"Oh, Korra! You can't just go like that and… AND LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THAT!"

 _I am so sorry, Asami._

Korra walked slowly into the girl ranting in front of her.

"You kept me worried! So, so worried that I thought I might d—"

 _But no more._

And then, there it is, the kiss.

The kiss that cut off Asami's worries, kiss that justified Korra's thoughts.

The kiss.

The everlasting warmth the universe could ever possible give.

The kiss; kiss that brought comfort when nothing seems to make sense anymore.

There they are, souls intertwined, with the distant sound of the world; sharing a warm kiss, under the wonders of the galaxy they both couldn't comprehend but feel.

Tears both subconsciously streamed down the faces of the two girls. Tears that represents each other's subconscious longing, subconscious love, unwavering care, undeniable pain and way long wanted comfort. Tears streamed down, for they both waited so long, waited painfully long, for this moment, this evening, this perfect time, perfect place, perfect feelings and perfect people. Tears streamed down, and it was glistening, like the stars.


End file.
